I got my first citation for public urination last night. Is it wrong to be really proud? It's almost a miracle that it's taken so long considering how often I relieve myself in downtown Portland. I got busted watering a tree at Pioneer Square. The Portland Patrol guy who wrote the ticket was pretty cool about the whole thing. I'm pretty sure he understood how drunk I was and that I really didn't give a shit about getting a ticket, so I made sure to be nice and not give him any trouble, though now that I think about it, I really should have been more reluctant to give my Social Security Number.

Anyway, after that a Mexican attempted to seduce me and take me to his house in Tigard for a blowjob, then the cab driver insisted he was my homeboy after we talked about living in DC on the way home, and then I spent an hour with the guy at Plaid Pantry on Division drinking the beer that I found in my pocket and fucking with customers. Man, I love that guy.

Unfortunately, the culmination of these antics meant that I didn't open my eyes until 1:30, still haven't gotten out of bed, have a pounding headache and need some food, but still have 20 pages of papers to write, registrations to process, and an offshore delivery to prepare for. I feel like I really just need a break, but I know I'd spend it getting drunk and nullifying all benefits of taking said break.