Fiona Apple is the hardcore Avril Lavigne. That was my major revelation last night. Pretty sad.

Well, maybe I'm just pretty sad. I've been sleeping in 'til 3 in the afternoon, not eating 'til 10, and trying to ignore the 50 or so voicemails that I haven't returned as well as the asshole who emailed the entire board that I had put his son in the wrong class and he was going to take legal action to shut down the sailing club, then is all nice on the phone and now he's offering suggestions to the board about how better to manage the club. I hope they realize he's an asshole, too.

I can't believe how much I hate myself right now. Last night when I was walking home I really wanted to jump off the Hawthorne Bridge where it goes over the industrial district. I didn't want to kill myself or anything, and I doubt that fall would kill me unless I landed on my head. It just seemed like it would be great to break both of my legs and feel some tangible pain that I deserved so I can get out of this emotional limbo. Fuck posting to blogs. I can't believe I still get myself in trouble with this shit.